Jokes

What can I say? It doesn't fit above, put it here. Also the location of board rules/info.
User avatar
Torco
sinic
sinic
Posts: 303
Joined: 14 Oct 2010 08:36

Re: Jokes

Post by Torco »

a spanish pun, which should be told with much more pomp but that essentially boils down to:

El acto principal del circo esa noche era un pan dotado de la capacidad de hablar: llegado el momento del acto central sale al escenario un hombre con una hogaza de pan en una mano y un balde de agua en la otra. Llama a un voluntario y, llegando este, le entrega el pan.
- Cómo esta el pan? -pregunta el hombre
El voluntario lo examina y contesta, un poco tímido
- Está duro.
El hombre procede a sumergir el pan en el agua un par de veces para luego entregárselo al voluntario.
- Y ahora?
El voluntario lo examina y declara.
- Ya no está duro; ahora está blando.
A lo cual el maestro de ceremonias grita entusiasmadísimo:
- ESTA HABLANDO! ESTÁ HABLANDO!

this joke cannot be translated to english.
ol bofosh
greek
greek
Posts: 668
Joined: 27 Aug 2012 14:59
Location: tʰæ.ɹʷˠə.ˈgɜʉ̯.nɜ kʰæ.tə.ˈlɜʉ̯.nʲɜ spɛ̝ɪ̯n ˈjʏː.ɹəʔp

Re: Jokes

Post by ol bofosh »

[bɨ kɨʔ || naːu̯ː]
User avatar
Torco
sinic
sinic
Posts: 303
Joined: 14 Oct 2010 08:36

Re: Jokes

Post by Torco »

no more biscuit for you
User avatar
eldin raigmore
korean
korean
Posts: 6352
Joined: 14 Aug 2010 19:38
Location: SouthEast Michigan

Re: Jokes

Post by eldin raigmore »

Torco wrote:a spanish pun, which should be told with much more pomp but that essentially boils down to:
...
this joke cannot be translated to english.
Can it be explained in English? What's the pun?
User avatar
atman
sinic
sinic
Posts: 407
Joined: 05 Dec 2012 17:04

Re: Jokes

Post by atman »

"If you have to explain a joke, there's no joke" and all, but anyway:
- Ya no está duro; ahora está blando.
A lo cual el maestro de ceremonias grita entusiasmadísimo:
- ESTÁ HABLANDO! ESTÁ HABLANDO!
"está blando" means "it is soft"

whereas near-homophone

"está hablando" means "it is speaking"
Երկնէր երկին, երկնէր երկիր, երկնէր և ծովն ծիրանի.
ol bofosh
greek
greek
Posts: 668
Joined: 27 Aug 2012 14:59
Location: tʰæ.ɹʷˠə.ˈgɜʉ̯.nɜ kʰæ.tə.ˈlɜʉ̯.nʲɜ spɛ̝ɪ̯n ˈjʏː.ɹəʔp

Re: Jokes

Post by ol bofosh »

Torco wrote:no more biscuit for you
:wat: [¬.¬] [O.o] [o.O] [>_<] [O.O] [:'(] [:'(] [:'(]
User avatar
eldin raigmore
korean
korean
Posts: 6352
Joined: 14 Aug 2010 19:38
Location: SouthEast Michigan

Re: Jokes

Post by eldin raigmore »

atman wrote:"If you have to explain a joke, there's no joke" and all, but anyway:
Well, yeah. That must be why the joke doesn't translate well.
atman wrote:
- Ya no está duro; ahora está blando.
A lo cual el maestro de ceremonias grita entusiasmadísimo:
- ESTÁ HABLANDO! ESTÁ HABLANDO!
"está blando" means "it is soft"
whereas near-homophone
"está hablando" means "it is speaking"
Now that I see it, I don't know how I missed it. [:$] Thanks.
User avatar
Chagen
runic
runic
Posts: 3338
Joined: 03 Sep 2011 05:14
Location: Texas

Re: Jokes

Post by Chagen »

atman wrote:"If you have to explain a joke, there's no joke" and all, but anyway:
- Ya no está duro; ahora está blando.
A lo cual el maestro de ceremonias grita entusiasmadísimo:
- ESTÁ HABLANDO! ESTÁ HABLANDO!
"está blando" means "it is soft"

whereas near-homophone

"está hablando" means "it is speaking"
I personally still think jokes are funny after you explain them....Especially when it's a language joke and you have to explain why it's a pun/wordpay/etc.
Nūdenku waga honji ma naku honyasi ne ika-ika ichamase!
female-appearance=despite boy-voice=PAT hold boy-youth=TOP very be.cute-3PL
Honyasi zō honyasi ma naidasu.
boy-youth=AGT boy-youth=PAT love.romantically-3S
wakinstube
hieroglyphic
hieroglyphic
Posts: 39
Joined: 08 Jan 2013 19:00
Location: Florida

Re: Jokes

Post by wakinstube »

Someone I know (American) was on a crowded subway in Germany and said to his neighbor,

"Ich bin warm, und Sie?"
which means literally "I am warm, and you?"
but what it actually means is "I am gay, and you?"

he got a weird look.
User avatar
Creyeditor
MVP
MVP
Posts: 5091
Joined: 14 Aug 2012 19:32

Re: Jokes

Post by Creyeditor »

wakinstube wrote:Someone I know (American) was on a crowded subway in Germany and said to his neighbor,

"Ich bin warm, und Sie?"
which means literally "I am warm, and you?"
but what it actually means is "I am gay, and you?"

he got a weird look.
Yeah, that's easy to explain. The subject has to be in the dative case if you want to express that you are warm.
Spoiler:
<Ich bin warm> looks gramatically incorrect unless you interpret <warm> as in <warmer Bruder> ('warm brother' meaning 'gay man'). So it's:

<Ich bin warm. >
1.SG.NOM be.IND.PRS.1.SG. warm
I am gay.

vs.

<Mir ist warm. >
1.SG.DAT be.IND.PRS.1.SG. warm
I am warm.
Another Gewrman language specific joke that just came to mind:

Sie standen an den Hängen und Pisten.

Rather short and not that intelligent but, well, hmm [;)]
Creyeditor
"Thoughts are free."
Produce, Analyze, Manipulate
1 :deu: 2 :eng: 3 :idn: 4 :fra: 4 :esp:
:con: Ook & Omlűt & Nautli languages & Sperenjas
[<3] Papuan languages, Morphophonology, Lexical Semantics [<3]
CarpeMors
hieroglyphic
hieroglyphic
Posts: 57
Joined: 05 Sep 2012 22:28

Re: Jokes

Post by CarpeMors »

XXXVII wrote:
ol bofosh wrote:¡Eso sí que es! = Yes, that's it!
Also: eS Oh Cee Kay eS
A menos que seas Castellano, como mí. Pues haga lo pronunciar “eh-so see kay eesh” como mí. El gran retardo. ¡Jajajaja!
CarpeMors decit "ubi est balneum rubrum in hero?" dum comedeban carotam in arcae pulchrae.
CarpeMors
hieroglyphic
hieroglyphic
Posts: 57
Joined: 05 Sep 2012 22:28

Re: Jokes

Post by CarpeMors »

Torco wrote:a spanish pun, which should be told with much more pomp but that essentially boils down to:

El acto principal del circo esa noche era un pan dotado de la capacidad de hablar: llegado el momento del acto central sale al escenario un hombre con una hogaza de pan en una mano y un balde de agua en la otra. Llama a un voluntario y, llegando este, le entrega el pan.
- Cómo esta el pan? -pregunta el hombre
El voluntario lo examina y contesta, un poco tímido
- Está duro.
El hombre procede a sumergir el pan en el agua un par de veces para luego entregárselo al voluntario.
- Y ahora?
El voluntario lo examina y declara.
- Ya no está duro; ahora está blando.
A lo cual el maestro de ceremonias grita entusiasmadísimo:
- ESTA HABLANDO! ESTÁ HABLANDO!

this joke cannot be translated to english.
El pan todo necesitaba bañarse, y entonces ¡zas! ¡Puede hablar! ¡Está hablando! ¡Qué un juego de palabras horrible! Me estado riendo durante diez minutos ahora. Oy, costillas mías… Xp
CarpeMors decit "ubi est balneum rubrum in hero?" dum comedeban carotam in arcae pulchrae.
mbrsart
sinic
sinic
Posts: 271
Joined: 08 Mar 2012 04:05
Location: Ponyville
Contact:

Re: Jokes

Post by mbrsart »

Speaking of Spanish puns, I heard this one a few years ago. I'm not sure I got the wording right, since I'm still aprendiendo.

¿Qué dijo la vaca al hombre que se estaba ahogando?
NADA!
:con: Hra'anh | :eng: [:D] | :esp: [:)] | :grc: [:|] | :heb: [:|] | :epo: [:S] | :deu: [:S] | :ita: [:S] | :bra: [:'(] | :fra: [:'(]
User avatar
Torco
sinic
sinic
Posts: 303
Joined: 14 Oct 2010 08:36

Re: Jokes

Post by Torco »

CarpeMors wrote:El pan todo necesitaba bañarse, y entonces ¡zas! ¡Puede hablar! ¡Está hablando! ¡Qué un juego de palabras horrible! Me estado riendo durante diez minutos ahora. Oy, costillas mías… Xp
*bows gracefully*
mbrsart wrote:Speaking of Spanish puns, I heard this one a few years ago. I'm not sure I got the wording right, since I'm still aprendiendo.

¿Qué dijo la vaca al hombre que se estaba ahogando?
NADA!
most excellent
ol bofosh
greek
greek
Posts: 668
Joined: 27 Aug 2012 14:59
Location: tʰæ.ɹʷˠə.ˈgɜʉ̯.nɜ kʰæ.tə.ˈlɜʉ̯.nʲɜ spɛ̝ɪ̯n ˈjʏː.ɹəʔp

Re: Jokes

Post by ol bofosh »

What did the sea say when it saw the beach?

Nothing, it just gave a little wave.

A Spanish one:

Why do people from Lepe (stereotypical idiot) never enter kitchens?

Because when they get there they see a jar that says "sal" (Spanish for salt, also imperative for "leave").
User avatar
Stammalor
cuneiform
cuneiform
Posts: 143
Joined: 23 Apr 2012 16:14
Location: Scania

Re: Jokes

Post by Stammalor »

Dug up a few swedish puns

It was a warm and sunny day when two swetty thieves where out walking. Eventually one ask his friend: Shall we call the police and ask them to "shadow" us?
The verb "shadow" means to follow or to stalk some one in secret, without them knowing, something the police do to criminals. That is, to be somebody's shadow.

I guess this one is more of a riddle but some children always like this:
Får får får? Nej. Får får lamm
"Do sheeps get (give birth to) sheeps? No, sheeps get lambs"

What sodas do you like the most?
- More fuck dumbass

The answer is Mer Fanta Pucko which actually are different kinds of sodas/bewerages. The second one kan become basicly a short version of "fuck you" if you mispronounce it a little (in some version it is just "coca-cola" instead) and the last one actually means "dumbass", nothing else.
Prinsessa
runic
runic
Posts: 2647
Joined: 07 Nov 2011 14:42

Re: Jokes

Post by Prinsessa »

mbrsart wrote:Speaking of Spanish puns, I heard this one a few years ago. I'm not sure I got the wording right, since I'm still aprendiendo.

¿Qué dijo la vaca al hombre que se estaba ahogando?
NADA!
<3
User avatar
Thrice Xandvii
runic
runic
Posts: 2698
Joined: 25 Nov 2012 10:13
Location: Carnassus

Re: Jokes

Post by Thrice Xandvii »

mbrsart wrote:¿Qué dijo la vaca al hombre que se estaba ahogando?
NADA!
That... is... WONDERFUL!

I love this one!
Image
Trailsend
moderator
moderator
Posts: 1451
Joined: 18 Aug 2010 05:22

Re: Jokes

Post by Trailsend »

At an ASL meetup last night, I discovered that one must be careful, in ASL, when one wishes to complain that most pizzas are not vegetarian, lest one end up complaining that most lesbians are not virgins.
任何事物的发展都是物极必反,否极泰来。
User avatar
eldin raigmore
korean
korean
Posts: 6352
Joined: 14 Aug 2010 19:38
Location: SouthEast Michigan

Re: Jokes

Post by eldin raigmore »

Trailsend wrote:At an ASL meetup last night, I discovered that one must be careful, in ASL, when one wishes to complain that most pizzas are not vegetarian, lest one end up complaining that most lesbians are not virgins.
:!: [:O] [O.O] [O.o] [o.O] :wat: :?: :!:
Post Reply