Jokes

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Shemtov
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Re: Jokes

Post by Shemtov »

Another Chelm Joke:
A Jew from Chelm bought a new chair for his living room. When he got home, the chair was to large for his door. Another saw him and said "your bedroom window is big enough"
"It's too high up"
"No problem. We break the chair into pieces and throw them through the window!"
Many children make up, or begin to make up, imaginary languages. I have been at it since I could write.
-JRR Tolkien

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Creyeditor
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Re: Jokes

Post by Creyeditor »

I like this one [:D]
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Shemtov
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Re: Jokes

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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean

all go to a bar…

The doorman stops them and says sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai.
Many children make up, or begin to make up, imaginary languages. I have been at it since I could write.
-JRR Tolkien

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eldin raigmore
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Re: Jokes

Post by eldin raigmore »

[:D] [:D] [:D]

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All4Ɇn
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Re: Jokes

Post by All4Ɇn »

Here's a German one I just thought up:
Wie weiß man, dass Hunde sehr gute Architekten sind?
Weil sie immer „Bau, wow“ sagen!


Here's a slightly different English translation:
How do you know that dogs are great architects?
Because they always say "roof roof"

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Dormouse559
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Re: Jokes

Post by Dormouse559 »

French newspaper Le Figaro posted on Facebook about how Sophie Turner, who played the character Sansa on "Game of Thrones", once separated from her now-husband. And the caption has a cute pun in it. It reads:
L'actrice de Game of Thrones a brièvement vécu... Sansa moitié 😎
Which translates literally as: "The Game of Thrones actress briefly lived … Sansa half".

But Sansa is pronounced /sɑ̃sa/ in French, which sounds just like sans sa "without his/her/its". So when you say the sentence out loud, it means: "The Game of Thrones actress briefly lived … without her better half".

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Dormouse559
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Re: Jokes

Post by Dormouse559 »

What does a French swimmer say when someone gets them angry?

You're piscine me off!

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Dormouse559
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Re: Jokes

Post by Dormouse559 »

Someone made a dirty pun about the bread I was kneading. It was a dough ball entendre!

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Dormouse559
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Re: Jokes

Post by Dormouse559 »

My latest attempt at a bad pun in French.

Qu'est-ce qu'elles ont de si impressionant, les nuits où Maman n'arrive pas à s'endormir ?

La mère veille !


Literal translation:
What's so impressive about the nights when Mom can't sleep?

The mother stays awake!




Vous saisissez ? [:D] It's funny because "La mère veille" sounds the same as "La merveille" (the marvel/wonder). Alright, I'll see myself out. Time for bed.

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