The Sixth Conversation Thread

What can I say? It doesn't fit above, put it here. Also the location of board rules/info.
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All4Ɇn
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Re: The Sixth Conversation Thread

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elemtilas wrote: 16 Apr 2021 03:27
All4Ɇn wrote: 16 Apr 2021 01:16 Wasn't entirely sure where to post this and hopefully it isn't too personal. I was wondering if anyone here has had any experience with losing the one contact they had to a language and I was wondering how they went about trying to continue learning it if they did. Me and my boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up and he was the only link I had to his native language and culture. I'm just trying to figure out what to do with continuing to practice it or if I even should.
First, of course, I'm sorry for your loss! Three years is a pretty good while to form a deepening relationship, and breaking that up can't possibly be easy for you!

This I don't think is terribly personal. It's basically an open query "where can I interact with people who speak X language?" where "X" is left undefined and for us to guess!

[}:(]

It's really going to depend on several personal and social components of your life: was yóur participation in his language and culture limited to only you two as a couple, or were you developing relationships with his family as well?; how invested are you in this language and culture?; how entangled were your participation in his language and culture with your relationship itself?; do you consider your post-breakup perception of him as a burden that use of the language causes you emotional upset?; as you recover from breakup, would you be much more likely to seek out another boy of the same language community & culture? Another thing to consider is where you live. (You don't tell us that either!, and I at least don't know.) But what kinds of resources do you already know about in your area? --- classes, church groups, civic organisations, restaurants, etc.

The best thing I can say is to go on line and do some basic research. If you and your bf lived in proximity (same city) You might be able to find other people from his same geographic region. Look for cultural groups and churches; if you're in school, there may well be student organisations.

If the language is relatively rare and you live in a highly monolingual region, and you determine that you'd like to continue with the language & culture association, but are willing to keep it separate from your relationships, you could look online for cultural outreach organisations or internet groups focused on that culture, perhaps in Reddit. if there's an embassy or consulate near you, you could go there and see what resources might be available too.

Lastly, the question of "should you do this" is one none of us out here can answer. I can tell you, most emphatically, that if I were in your position, I would really have no choice but to continue. Even after three years, I was sufficiently immersed in the language and culture that if I had to seek a new relationship, it would almost have to be with someone from the same region & culture. I'm no longer entirely certain I could get along with someone from my own culture. But at this point in time, we've been going on 18 years; and there are family considerations that a Native may not fully understand or be on board with.

Sorry I can't be more helpful!, but there it is!
DesEsseintes wrote: 16 Apr 2021 05:40
All4Ɇn wrote: 16 Apr 2021 01:16 Wasn't entirely sure where to post this and hopefully it isn't too personal. I was wondering if anyone here has had any experience with losing the one contact they had to a language and I was wondering how they went about trying to continue learning it if they did. Me and my boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up and he was the only link I had to his native language and culture. I'm just trying to figure out what to do with continuing to practice it or if I even should.
I freely admit that I’m only asking cos I’m intensely curious, but would you be willing to tell us what language it is?

Sorry to hear about your breakup. [:'(]

Thanks for the responses. It’s really appreciated! This is great advice too for what to do next elemtilas. The language is Hungarian actually and I’m currently living in the States
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Re: The Sixth Conversation Thread

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All4Ɇn wrote: 20 Apr 2021 17:09 Thanks for the responses. It’s really appreciated!
Well, that's what our little quasifamily is for! We're here for you!
This is great advice too for what to do next elemtilas. The language is Hungarian actually and I’m currently living in the States
Oh, Hungarian!!

That's easy -- I thought it'd be something with like four speakers in the entire world.

Hungarian societies can be found just about anywhere in the US. Quite probably there's one near you!
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All4Ɇn
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Re: The Sixth Conversation Thread

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elemtilas wrote: 21 Apr 2021 02:05
All4Ɇn wrote: 20 Apr 2021 17:09 Thanks for the responses. It’s really appreciated!
Well, that's what our little quasifamily is for! We're here for you!
This is great advice too for what to do next elemtilas. The language is Hungarian actually and I’m currently living in the States
Oh, Hungarian!!

That's easy -- I thought it'd be something with like four speakers in the entire world.

Hungarian societies can be found just about anywhere in the US. Quite probably there's one near you!
Thanks for the links! Honestly such a big reason of why this breakup has been so hard is just the fact that it’s felt like I’ve lost part of my own culture at this point. And while I don’t think it’ll be easy at first to try and get involved with any language/cultural groups I think it would be a really good idea to do so. And I definitely feel that sense you mentioned of needing to be with someone long term with that same cultural understanding of Hungary. And while it’s a small country, you’re right that it could be a whole lot harder to find people with a lot of other languages.

A lot of these things aren’t so obvious to most of the people I know in person which is why I turned here.
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Re: The Sixth Conversation Thread

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As I said before, if you don't feel ready to leap into in-person social events, you could keep engaged with the language and culture by following Hungarian media. Apparently there's about forty online Hungarian newspapers. Unfortunately, of course, this being Hungary, most of the content is likely to be either depressing and/or fascist, but presumably some of it is more light-hearted. And many international magazines have Hungarian editions - Cosmopolitan, PC World, National Geographic, etc. You can even follow along with the Hungarian football conversation at the Hungarian edition of FourFourTwo (online and, I think, also in print). [and scroll down to the bottom of the page for links to some other Hungarian sites (looks like it's part of some sort of gawkeresque media network]. And of course there's also a wealth of Hungarian literature available. Presumably plenty of hungarian radio shows, podcasts, etc. And about a dozen or more TV channels, some of which are probably available online (though of course the free-to-air content is likely to be heavily right-wing).
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Re: The Sixth Conversation Thread

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All4Ɇn wrote: 21 Apr 2021 08:37 Thanks for the links!
No worries!
Honestly such a big reason of why this breakup has been so hard is just the fact that it’s felt like I’ve lost part of my own culture at this point.
Oh, of course you have! It's a kind of grief you're experiencing. Culture and memory, love and language: it's all bound up with that person who, in some way, is still in your heart. His culture and language, and your experience of it, and even your participation in it have changed you. I know this happened to me, and I think it probably happens to many people who marry or date outside their own native culture. We internalise it, and it becomes part of us. Sometimes it may even replace aspects of our own culture.

You might break up with the boy, and you'll undoubtedly get over him! But I don't know about getting over a culture! I know for me, that wouldn't be possible. It's just too embedded, too engrained.

It might be too soon for you to discern, and it's not my intention to push you or anything. Just keep it mind as your heart heals: there'll always be that soft spot for Bartok and goulash!

And while I don’t think it’ll be easy at first to try and get involved with any language/cultural groups I think it would be a really good idea to do so. And I definitely feel that sense you mentioned of needing to be with someone long term with that same cultural understanding of Hungary. And while it’s a small country, you’re right that it could be a whole lot harder to find people with a lot of other languages.

A lot of these things aren’t so obvious to most of the people I know in person which is why I turned here.
I hope we've been able to help!
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Re: The Sixth Conversation Thread

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Off-topic: I assume someone's been deleting things from the Beginniner's Corner?
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Re: The Sixth Conversation Thread

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Salmoneus wrote: 21 Apr 2021 21:23 Off-topic: I assume someone's been deleting things from the Beginniner's Corner?
I deleted two posts from a spambot, and a reply to them.
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Re: The Sixth Conversation Thread

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Random: Just got a new publication online, which happens to be my first at my new institution.
And I'll dance with you in Vienna,
I'll be wearing a river's disguise;
The hyacinth wild on my shoulder,
My mouth on the dew of your thigh...

Looking for subjects to appear on banknotes. Inquire within.
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Re: The Sixth Conversation Thread

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I knew it was bound to happen one of these days, but . . .

Beverly Cleary has passed away.

https://www.nndb.com/people/422/000032326/
♂♥♂♀

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Re: The Sixth Conversation Thread

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Khemehekis wrote: 25 Apr 2021 01:47 I knew it was bound to happen one of these days, but . . .

Beverly Cleary has passed away.

https://www.nndb.com/people/422/000032326/
[:'(]
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