My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

A forum for all topics related to constructed languages
Post Reply
Quetzalcoatl
rupestrian
rupestrian
Posts: 18
Joined: 09 Dec 2017 22:39

My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by Quetzalcoatl »

https://voca.ro/1gM6WZ826vqw

I will not give you the text, just an audio file of me reading the first chapter of a famous book.
My questions for you:

1. Which book am I reading? Do you recognize the text? (It is indeed a very famous text)
2. Which natlangs were my main sources for the grammar, the vocabulary and the pronunciation?
3. Which words do you recognize?
4. How do you like it?

:)
User avatar
eldin raigmore
korean
korean
Posts: 6352
Joined: 14 Aug 2010 19:38
Location: SouthEast Michigan

Re: My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by eldin raigmore »

Quetzalcoatl wrote: 30 Jul 2022 01:24 https://voca.ro/1gM6WZ826vqw

I will not give you the text, just an audio file of me reading the first chapter of a famous book.
My questions for you:

1. Which book am I reading? Do you recognize the text? (It is indeed a very famous text)
2. Which natlangs were my main sources for the grammar, the vocabulary and the pronunciation?
3. Which words do you recognize?
4. How do you like it?

:)
All conlangers are amateurs, right?
In the sense that nobody makes a living conlanging!
But some have been paid; more power to them!

__________

1. Which book am I reading? not Moby Dick, and not one of the Gospels. Do you recognize the text? no
2. Which natlangs were my main sources for the grammar, the vocabulary and the pronunciation? Afrikaans, maybe? (Wild guess!)
3. Which words do you recognize? “Elephant”.
4. How do you like it? kinda do like it!
User avatar
Creyeditor
MVP
MVP
Posts: 5091
Joined: 14 Aug 2012 19:32

Re: My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by Creyeditor »

1. I don't know.
2. This sounds like a Dutch variety spoken in the US to me.
3. elephant and twe 'two'?.
4. It sounds naturalistic.
Creyeditor
"Thoughts are free."
Produce, Analyze, Manipulate
1 :deu: 2 :eng: 3 :idn: 4 :fra: 4 :esp:
:con: Ook & Omlűt & Nautli languages & Sperenjas
[<3] Papuan languages, Morphophonology, Lexical Semantics [<3]
User avatar
eldin raigmore
korean
korean
Posts: 6352
Joined: 14 Aug 2010 19:38
Location: SouthEast Michigan

Re: My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by eldin raigmore »

Creyeditor wrote: 30 Jul 2022 22:14 2. This sounds like a Dutch variety spoken in the US to me.
Like “Mein tochter nimmt piano lessons. Vier dollar sie costen mir haben.”?
User avatar
Creyeditor
MVP
MVP
Posts: 5091
Joined: 14 Aug 2012 19:32

Re: My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by Creyeditor »

That sounds more like German. I was thinking of Dutch, maybe something like Jersey Dutch.
Creyeditor
"Thoughts are free."
Produce, Analyze, Manipulate
1 :deu: 2 :eng: 3 :idn: 4 :fra: 4 :esp:
:con: Ook & Omlűt & Nautli languages & Sperenjas
[<3] Papuan languages, Morphophonology, Lexical Semantics [<3]
Quetzalcoatl
rupestrian
rupestrian
Posts: 18
Joined: 09 Dec 2017 22:39

Re: My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by Quetzalcoatl »

Okay, here is the script... Maybe you will recognize a bit more [B)]




Rasa når jeg hade sägs lat, jeg ha vögt ei lägtje ägmesj uver het dösjtelås ve ei bok hétand "prov störsje fra het natur". Het pokde ei viske vånsj slokand ei svigsje. Stjäs ei kopie op het ägmesj.

Ve het bok, het ha stort: De viske böa sloke dems butja tsal navet bes bägte dem. Pog, dem pöge usje ike mouve ond slube sägs möns som bruke par dighasje. Jeg ha mläsjt bas dusj uver de avåntürs op het dösjtelås ond, med ei borvtje, jeg fijnsjde meg piervsje regsje.

Jeg pokde meg kånstruk å de drögke ond ägsjkde dem sli dem er frigtet. Ma kasj ha ånst: "Farhva sjöl neg er frigtet par ei hout? Lecj meg regsje vas ike ei ägmesj op ei hout. Het ha montret ei viske boa dighacand ei elefånt. Men fördit de drögke ni pöge rasume, jeg drögde ösjt ei ignsje regsje: Jeg retjde het ignskan op het viske boa, sådit de drögke pögde vöge het doklatja. Dem sasje bruk ei eksplakasje. Dits meg drusje regsje, numer tvig:

Troska het repontje frane drögke vas het avasje at jeg sjolde årasjtije het drunie op het ignskan når at het ågskan frane böa ond at jeg sjolde he plü av interes na ghéografij, historij, kalkulijnie ond gramatje. Stjäs farhva, med sägs lat, jeg jav oft, stå häde pögt skule ei manifisk kariér ves druna. Het malsukses fra meg rijsje numer ignt ond numer tvig psjignte far meg bravhijt. Vielk lutja nägde rasume tsogk tsal sépar, ond sur de dägtske het er sa nogånt å eksplije ond eksplije tout snåvo ond snåvo.

Fördem mosde jeg snåle ei outre profasje ond jeg ögcjde vögle. Jeg vöglde ve kasj stéd tro het sviat ond het ghéografij pravie vas mog vendfol sur meg. Med ei vijd, jeg pögde difernije Sjina av Arisouna. Så sli du flove ve het nåt, tågske vételtje er valörfol.

Fördem spogntsde jeg dusj sijd med vaksen lutje ond hade dusje kånversäsje. Åso trägtsde jeg bas dusj med drögke ond jeg hade het mosjägvåsjt å observije dem fra het nörhijt. Ond dit improvde ike meg vögtsk na dem. Kasj sijd når jeg trap vém, dem semde vé trac kluga, jeg spröpde tsogk med meg regsje numer ignt. Jeg volde vü, sli han er pravie tak klug. Men ve kasj sijd jeg rasijvde het repontje: "Dits ei hout". Pog jeg snakde med örn ike uver böa, når ike uver dösjteläs, når ike uver stjörna. Jeg poutsde meg do hans vijdspognt. Jeg snakde med örn uver Brigde, gholf, politijk ond uver kravats. Ond het vielk man vas satisfijd ond vlast, dit han ha tropen tågsk ei sensfol cjögv.
User avatar
Creyeditor
MVP
MVP
Posts: 5091
Joined: 14 Aug 2012 19:32

Re: My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by Creyeditor »

The romanization looks much more like Swedish.
Creyeditor
"Thoughts are free."
Produce, Analyze, Manipulate
1 :deu: 2 :eng: 3 :idn: 4 :fra: 4 :esp:
:con: Ook & Omlűt & Nautli languages & Sperenjas
[<3] Papuan languages, Morphophonology, Lexical Semantics [<3]
Salmoneus
MVP
MVP
Posts: 3031
Joined: 19 Sep 2011 19:37

Re: My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by Salmoneus »

I've never read it, but the answer is very obvious from google.
Khemehekis
mongolian
mongolian
Posts: 3884
Joined: 14 Aug 2010 09:36
Location: California über alles

Re: My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by Khemehekis »

Interestingly, Andreas Hofer (the guy with the farmer vs. hunter-gatherer theory) references the parable of the elephant/snake/hat thing in one of his Quora posts! What can I say, it's a book for dreamers (and one that's been translated into Klingon, FWIW).
♂♥♂♀

Squirrels chase koi . . . chase squirrels

My Kankonian-English dictionary: 86,336 words and counting

31,416: The number of the conlanging beast!
Quetzalcoatl
rupestrian
rupestrian
Posts: 18
Joined: 09 Dec 2017 22:39

Re: My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by Quetzalcoatl »

Salmoneus wrote: 01 Aug 2022 01:00 I've never read it, but the answer is very obvious from google.
Googling it is cheating :)
Quetzalcoatl
rupestrian
rupestrian
Posts: 18
Joined: 09 Dec 2017 22:39

Re: My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by Quetzalcoatl »

Okay people, as you may have already found out by now, the conlang's name is Ösjke and the text is a translation of the first chapter from "The little prince" by St. Exupéry. It is basically a Germanic conlang with lots of vocabulary from English, Swedish, French and Polish. The problem about this project, which took place very early in my conlanging career, is that the lexicon and the grammar is completely unsystematic and there are no regular sound changes at all.

However, whenever you base your conlang on a natlang, there should be a story or an explanation how the natlang evolved into the conlang. Otherwise the conlang will not be very naturalistic, but rather sound like a weird mix of different natlangs. This is exactly what happened here. Ösjke sounds like a Germanic conlang with elements from French and Polish created by someone who was neither able to speak proper French nor proper Polish and therefore had to mix his own language. :mrgreen:

In summary, I just gave up on Ösjke, it is an extinct conlang. RIP Ösjke :)
Salmoneus
MVP
MVP
Posts: 3031
Joined: 19 Sep 2011 19:37

Re: My very first (very amateurish conlang) constructed in 2007

Post by Salmoneus »

Quetzalcoatl wrote: 02 Aug 2022 09:08 However, whenever you base your conlang on a natlang, there should be a story or an explanation how the natlang evolved into the conlang. Otherwise the conlang will not be very naturalistic, but rather sound like a weird mix of different natlangs.
a) I don't think that follows. There's nothing about a posteriori conlangs - conlangs derived regularly from natlangs - that makes them inherently naturalistic, nor anything about a priori conlangs (conlangs not so derived) that makes them unnaturalistic. A posteriori work can help encourage naturalism, and general complexity, as studying the parent language sort of jogs the creator's memory about all the things that they could be doing in the daughter language, including complexities that are often easy to overlook if you're creating something from scratch. But it's entirely possible (and common) to produce wildly unnaturalistic languages thorugh a posteriori methodology. And more importantly, there's no reason you can't apply the same standards of craft to a priori languages, including those that are intentionally "based on" a real language in their sounds, their grammar, or even their lexicon.

[conlangers who see a language that's clear based on a real language, but not seemingly in a regular way, tend to assume that it's been made badly, because those are two common characteristics of languages made by beginners. But that's not inherently true. Indeed, you could have a language that looked almost exactly like, say, German, down to sharing a lot of vocabulary, but that was instead regularly derived from a completely un-Germanic parent language...]

b) why is 'sounding like a weird mix of different natlangs' a bad thing?
Post Reply