How to write an E-Mail

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Iyionaku
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How to write an E-Mail

Post by Iyionaku »

I have found this to be a serious topic in most languages, and yet there is no post about it yet! How do your conpeople write an e-mail, if mails have been invented yet?
How do you write occupation titles, dates, addresses? How do you start and end a mail?
Example text below (all fictional). I tried to keep it short because many people seeem to be put off by overly long translation challenges (I personally love them tho), and yet it contains some rather difficult vocabulary and phrasing. Feel free to adjust the proper names to your conculture.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
:eng: English

From: Emilia West
To: Magnus Carlsson
CC: Gus Smith
Date: 04/25/2018
Topic: RE: New production hall in Knoxville - Project closing delay

Dear Mr. Carlsson,

Yesterday we met with your colleague Mr. Smith from accounting. We have found that the project closing has to be delayed for another month. The main reasons for that are unclear responsibilities for maintenance as well as logistics issues in the new factory which could severely impede the supply chain. Thus we cannot release the new process for production yet. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Best regards

Emilia West
Lead Project Manager
Certchrome Inc. | 26 Courtland St. | Atlanta, GA 30305 | USA
Cellphone: (404) 495-1853
emilia.west@certchrome.com
Last edited by Iyionaku on 27 Apr 2018 08:37, edited 1 time in total.
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eldin raigmore
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Re: How to write an E-Mail

Post by eldin raigmore »

Good topic in my opinion!

Translating from your English to mine; Instead of “We have been in a meeting with ...”, I’d say “We met with ...”.
The present pluperfect progressive, or whatever to call that construction, seems awkward or something for this particular use.

I apologize for the vagueness; I couldn’t combine accuracy with precision this time.

—————————

Wouldn’t concision, as well as accuracy, also be goals for best-practice e-mail writing? Would they sometimes both outrank precision?
Could some natcultures and concultures regard “BCC”s (blind carbon copies) as extremely rude?

————————

I’ll eventually answer your question wrt my own conlangs.
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Reyzadren
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Re: How to write an E-Mail

Post by Reyzadren »

Well, this is sort of trivial because greetings and titles don't exist in native griuskant. Moreover, anything at the From, To, Topic, Date, Address and Contact Details slots are actually in a snippet that is not within the e-mail itself (the conworld allows embedding objects across other higher N-dimensional spaces).

So, the only thing you'll get is:

:con: griuskant (without the conscript)

zhegivas
/'ʒəgivas/
here.anything
The body of the e-mail which contains whatever your content.
Image conlang summary | Image griushkoent thread
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Dormouse559
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Re: How to write an E-Mail

Post by Dormouse559 »

I'm interested in doing this challenge, but there was something I wanted to clear up before getting started:
Iyionaku wrote: 25 Apr 2018 11:53production hall
I haven't come across this term before, and I'm not sure what it means. After a Google search, I think it might be a Germanicism because most of the results are from the English-language sites of German/Swiss/Dutch companies. Does it mean "factory"?


Some notes on improving the English:
Spoiler:
eldin raigmore wrote: 25 Apr 2018 18:15 Good topic in my opinion!

Translating from your English to mine; Instead of “We have been in a meeting with ...”, I’d say “We met with ...”.
The present pluperfect progressive, or whatever to call that construction, seems awkward or something for this particular use.
Or "we had a meeting with". I agree that the simple past, plus a different verb, sounds better here than the present perfect.

Iyionaku wrote: 25 Apr 2018 11:53Thus we cannot release the new process for production by now.
"By now" should probably be "right now" or "yet".

Iyionaku wrote: 25 Apr 2018 11:53Cellphone: 404-4951853
The most common format for U.S. phone numbers is (404) 495-1853.
Iyionaku
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Re: How to write an E-Mail

Post by Iyionaku »

Got y'all. Adjusted the original English according to your propositions.
Dormouse559 wrote: 26 Apr 2018 18:52 I haven't come across this term before, and I'm not sure what it means. After a Google search, I think it might be a Germanicism because most of the results are from the English-language sites of German/Swiss/Dutch companies. Does it mean "factory"?
I have noticed that too after you mentioned it. It appears that it is incredibly widespread in German-speaking companies, but nowhere else. I filtered after the term "production hall" on all English wikipedia pages and it yielded only 40 results, half of them had a period in between (i.e.: "... Your First Impression was a Monty Hall-Art Stark Production. Hall was the series executive producer.") The remainders mostly describe the company history of relatively unknown German companies so I assume those articles have been written by Germans.

Yes, it means "factory". The German term "Produktionshalle" is widespread because the literal translation of factory - "Fabrik" - more closely refers to the stinking and exploitative factories in industrialism.
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Dormouse559
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Re: How to write an E-Mail

Post by Dormouse559 »

Iyionaku wrote: 27 Apr 2018 08:40Yes, it means "factory". The German term "Produktionshalle" is widespread because the literal translation of factory - "Fabrik" - more closely refers to the stinking and exploitative factories in industrialism.
Hmm, yeah, "factory" can sometimes have similar connotations. I suppose an analog to "Produktionshalle" might be "(manufacturing) plant". In the context of an email between two people who know they're discussing a factory, "plant" would work quite well.

Well, thank you for clarifying. I'll start figuring out what the Silvish do with emails.
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Dormouse559
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Re: How to write an E-Mail

Post by Dormouse559 »

Hey, did I say I was going to start figuring out how the Silvish do emails? Well, I did start, but I never finished. Until now! So here's the answer, nearly a year later.

In this email, American business type Emilia West is doing business with Silvish business types Harlou Harloù and Ôgustou Fevrou. (Fun fact: "Magnus" is a reference to Charlemagne, so the closest Silvish equivalent of "Magnus Carlsson" is essentially "Carl Carlsson".)



Image Silvish

De : Emilia West
A : Harlou Harloù
CC : Ôgustou Fevrou
Data : 25/04/2018
Oddjé : RE: Neuv' uzin-a a nKnoxville - Retar d' ahhevalya de prôjé

Li Harloù,

Yê, nou-z ant retrouvé vottron collêgou li Fevrou d' lê contâbletê. Nou-z an decouver qu' l' etteu-t retardé l' ahhevalya dî prôjé pandan in moû. La rrêzoù par chà s' ajissi d' responsâbletê d' intrettyé trê clê insi que de problêmi lojistic dyun lê neuv uzî qui pourouye gravaman accablé la hwin-a lojistica. Allora nou ppoussan pas incora sortre lou neu prôches de prôdussoù. No nnou-z esscûzan par tout inconvenyan.

Cordyalaman,

Emilia West
Gouverneuza de prôjé princhepala
Certchrome Inc. | 26 Courtland St. | Atlanta, GA 30305 | USA
Portâblou: (404) 495-1853
emilia.west@certchrome.com



Tout le tralala :
Spoiler:

De … A : Harlou Harloù … CC (copye carbon-ou) : Ôgustou Fevrou … Data
[ˈde | ˈa | ˈhɑʁ.lu hɑˈlu | ˈɕe ˈɕe (ko.pjə kɑˈbõ.u) | ʔɔˈgy.stu ˈfe.vʁu | ˈda.tə]
from | to | Harlou Harloù | CC (copy carbon) | Ôgustou Fevrou | date

From … To: Harlou Harloù … CC (carbon copy): Ôgustou Fevrou … Date

Oddjé : RE: Neuv' uzin-a a nKnoxville - Retar d' ahhevalya de prôjé
[ʔɔˈʑe … nœ.vy.ˈzẽ.ə ʔɑ̃n.nɔˈsvil | ʁəˈtɑʁ dɑh.həˈva.ʎˑə de.pʁɔˈʑe]
Topic | RE | new factory at Knoxville | delay of completion.ACC of project.ACC

Topic: RE: New production hall in Knoxville - Project closing delay

Li Harloù,
[li.hɑˈlu]
DEF-M.N* Harloù

Dear Mr. Carlsson,

Yê, nou-z ant retrouvé vottron collêgou li Fevrou d' lê contâbletê.
[ˈjɛː | nu.zɑ̃n.tʁe.tʁuˈve vɔt.tʁɔ̃ŋ.kɔˈlɛː.gu liˈfe.vʁu dlɛː.kɔ̃n.tɑː.bləˈtɛː]
yesterday 1P have.1P meet-PST_PTCP 2.FORM-POSS-ACC.M.C* colleague-ACC DEF-M.N Fevrou from DEF-OBL.F accounting-OBL

Yesterday we met with your colleague Mr. Smith from accounting.

Nou-z an decouver qu' l' etteu-t retardé l' ahhevalya dî prôjé pandan in moû.
[nu.zɑ̃n.de.kuˈvɛʁ klɛt.tø.tʁe.tɑˈde lɑh.həˈva.ʎˑə diː.pʁɔˈʑe pɑ̃ˈdɑ̃ŋ ʔɛ̃ˈmuː]
1P have.1P find-PST_PTCP SBRD 3S be_necessary.3S delay-INF DEF completion-ACC of-DEF.M project.ACC during INDEF month.OBL

We have found that the project closing has to be delayed for another month.

La rrêzoù par chà s' ajissi d' responsâbletê d' intrettyé trê clê insi que de problêmi lojistic dyun lê neuv uzî qui pourouye gravaman accablé la hwin-a lojistica.
[lɑʁ.ʁɛˈzu pɑˈɕa səˈʑis.si dʁe.spɔ̃n.sɑː.bləˈtɛː dɛ̃n.tʁɛˈtje ˈtʁɛː ˈklɛː ˈʔɛ̃n.si ke.de.pʁəˈblɛː.mi lo.ʑiˈstik ˈdjœ̃ŋ lɛː.nø.vyˈziː ki.puˈru.jə gʁa.vəˈmɑ̃ŋ ʔɑk.kəˈble ləˈhwẽ.ə lo.ʑiˈsti.kə]
DEF-F.C PL-reason for DET 3REFL be-3P of responsibility-OBL of maintenance-ACC NEG clear.OBL as SBRD of problem-OBL logistical.OBL in DEF-OBL.F new factory.OBL REL-NOM be_able-CND severe-ADV impede-INF DEF-ACC.F.C chain-ACC logistical-ACC.F.C

The main reasons for that are unclear responsibilities for maintenance as well as logistics issues in the new factory which could severely impede the supply chain.

Allora nou ppoussan pas incora sortre lou neu prôches de prôdussoù.
[ɑˈlo.ʁə nup.pus.sɑ̃ˈpɑs ɛ̃ˈko.ʁə ˈsɔʁ.tʁə lu.nø.pʁɔˈɕɛs de.pʁɔː.dyˈsu]
thus 1P be_able-1P NEG yet release DEF-ACC.M.C new process.ACC of production.ACC

Thus we cannot release the new process for production yet.

No nnou-z esscûzan par tou-t inconvenyan.
[nɔ̃n.nu.zɛs.skyˈzɑ̃ŋ pɑʁ.tu.tɛ̃ŋ.kɔ̃ɱ.vəˈɲˑɑ̃ŋ]
1P 1P excuse-1P for any inconvenience.ACC

We apologize for any inconvenience.

Cordyalaman … Gouverneuza de prôjé princhepala … Portâblou
[kɔʁ.dja.ləˈmɑ̃ŋ | gu.vɛˈnø.za de.pʁɔˈʑe pʁɛ̃ɲ̟.ɕəˈpa.lə | pɔˈtɑː.blu]
cordially | manager-F of project-ACC principal-F | cellphone

Best regards … Lead Project Manager … Cellphone

* N = "noble" or human-associated gender
C = "common" or non-human-associated gender


Usage Notes

Header
The terminology here is based on the French format, which in turn is based on the English format, so not much of note to report. In electronic forms, it is expected for words not to decline. In normal writing, a + Harlou Harloù = a hHarlwì Harloù.

Salutation
The normal polite address is simply the person's surname preceded by a noble-gender definite article; the sex-based gender agreement should of course be decided by the referent's gender. When used without a given name, surnames agree with the referent in gender, number and case. For example, if Ms. West were addressing her email to a woman with the last name Harloù, she would open with the feminine Le Harlon-a.

Professional emails like this one don't usually have much else in terms of salutation. Her(a) "dear" exists, but it is viewed as less businesslike. If Ms. West were writing Mr. Harloù a personal email and wanted to use her with his last name, she would write Li her Harloù.

Closing
This part is also influenced by French. The most neutral form for a business email is cordyalaman "cordially". In a personal email, one could also end with amicalaman "amicably". Both are direct calques from French (cordialement, amicalement) and aren't much used outside the context of correspondence. For example, the usual way of saying "amicably" is amissâblaman.
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